09: How To Act & Feel Confident Before A First Date
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How To Act & Feel Confident Before A First Date
You’ve matched with someone, had a bit of a chat back and forth, and they’ve asked you out on a date - yayyy! Whilst you’re excited at the prospect of meeting them face to face, there’s a part of you that feels anxious and worried about making a good first impression.
It’s completely normal to feel nervous before meeting someone for the first time and in this episode of The Date with Confidence Podcast, I’m sharing how to act and feel confident before a first date so you can leave the anxiety at home and focus on having fun with your latest match.
Tune in now to hear:
1. Act Confident: Taken from the third core principle of The 90/90 Mindset Concept, we look at the Act Confident layer which is all about practical actions you can take to help you act confident on a first date.
2. Feel Confident: We explore how the Feel Confident layer is about nurturing inner confidence. I reveal the techniques I use to get my energy into a confident state before a first date.
3. Confidence Anchors: Discover the importance of confidence anchors and how they can enhance your self-assuredness to help you create a lasting impression on your date.
4. Mirror Work: Learn the power of looking at yourself in the mirror and understand how this simple practice can help you connect with your inner self to reinforce your self-esteem.
5. Feel-Good Rituals: Find out how playing your favourite songs or listening to a grounding meditation can calm pre-date jitters and leave you feeling energised.
6. Adaptability: Understand that these confidence layers can be applied not only to dating but to various aspects of life. It's about empowering yourself to exude confidence in any situation.
I'm thrilled to share these confidence-building techniques with you, so you can approach every date with a newfound sense of self-confidence. Remember, you've got this!
There are 3 layers of confidence you need to focus on creating before a first date. To learn more about the first layer, Think Confident, listen to Important Things I Tell Myself Before a First Date.
How To Act & Feel Confident Before A First Date
There’s an abundance of practical actions that you can take to help you feel confident on a first date. One of the most basic of activities is to simply make an effort with your appearance. Spend some time styling your hair, apply your makeup in a way that makes you feel good and be sure to put on that outfit that always makes you feel comfortable in your own skin.
There’s no point in dressing up in something that isn’t ‘you’ or feels uncomfortable. The more comfortable you are in your skin, the more you’ll be able to relax into the date.
Add your confidence anchors
Once I've done my hair and makeup, I add in my confidence anchors. Confidence anchors are certain items that instantly boost my confidence. For me, it’s things like certain pieces of jewellery, my favourite perfume and a red lipstick. These are the things that help me anchor into self confidence as quickly as possible.
I also like to take a few slow, deep breaths to help me ground back into my body and get out of my anxious head.
Look in the mirror (no, really!)
One of my favourite confidence boosting tips is mirror work. I spend some time looking in the mirror at myself and smiling at myself. I like to make eye contact with myself and smile a genuine, loving smile. I do this regardless of whether I'm going on a date or not.
When you do that you connect with yourself on a deeper level and you remind yourself how amazing you are. No matter how the date turns out, you can still love yourself. When I walk past a mirror, I'll smile at myself and I'll repeat things like “This is what a confident woman looks like. This is what a great first date looks like. You look amazing tonight.” Anything that boosts my self esteem and makes me feel good about myself.
Feeling confident before a first date
So now you’re thinking confidently, telling yourself that it's going to be an amazing night and you've done the practical actions that’ll help you act confident, it’s time to focus on how to feel confident within your body.
There are lots of different things I like to do to feel confident and one of those is playing music as I’m getting ready. I put on my favourite songs, dance around and sing my lungs out, which gives me a boost of energy.
If you’re feeling anxious before a first date, you may want to try a grounding meditation to help you feel calmer. This’ll bring you back into your body and out of your head.
Visualise the date as a success
Another exercise I love is visualisation. I use this to help me feel confident in any situation. In terms of going on a first date, you might visualise yourself meeting the person and having a good chat. You might visualise yourself laughing throughout the evening and you might imagine that it’s the end of the date and you’re feeling happy, feeling good and feeling positive about the date.
Visualisation is going to reinforce the fact that you're going to have fun on this first date, no matter what the ultimate outcome is. You don’t need to fantasise about the next 3 years of your life, just picture the date being a good one as opposed to it being a disaster.
There are also tools like EFT tapping, where you tap on certain parts of your body to shift any stagnant energy and to leave you feeling positive and open to possibilities.
When you focus on the 3 layers of confidence, you can ensure you rock up to your first date thinking, acting and feeling confident af. Instead of being in your head or worrying about the impression you’re giving, you’ll be able to sit back and enjoy yourself!
Send me your dating dilemma
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Send me your dating dilemma 〰️
You can contribute your stories to the Date with Confidence Podcast here. Share your best or worst dating stories, your biggest icks, dating tips you think everyone should know or ask me anything about my dating life or a burning question you need an answer for.
About Your Host
Rebecca Hawkes (you can call her Becka) is the host of The Date with Confidence Podcast, your go-to show if you’re tired of dating drama and ready to raise your standards without losing your mind (or your sense of humour).
After being blindsided by a breakup at 29, Becka turned her “WTF is happening with my life” moment into a journey of self-growth, self-worth, and a mission to help other 30-somethings stop settling. Now, she shares how to date with confidence, trust your intuition, and attract the kind of love that actually feels good.
Becka isn’t here for generic dating advice, she’s here to bring you the real, raw, and funny truths about modern dating. Expect practical tools, mindset shifts, and the occasional rant that’ll leave you feeling like you’ve just had wine with your best mate.
Want more? Sign up for her BTS with Becka newsletter here.
