How to Think Confident Before a First Date
Going on a first date can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. The anticipation, the butterflies, and the desire to make a great impression can lead to anxiety. However, the key to a successful first date lies in your mindset and how you perceive yourself.
In this blog post, we'll explore valuable insights and techniques to help you think confidently before a first date. One of the essential concepts we'll delve into is The 90/90 Mindset Concept. By the end of this post, you'll have the tools to boost your confidence and make your next first date a memorable and enjoyable experience.
For the best experience, I highly encourage you to listen to the full podcast episode.
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How to Think Confident Before a First Date
The 90/90 Mindset Concept
The 90/90 Mindset Concept is a powerful framework designed to help you feel confident not just on your first date but every day. I created this concept based on my 12+ years of experience working to transform my life and increase my self confidence. The 90/90 Mindset Concept consists of three core principles that can transform your mindset and elevate your self-assurance.
The Confidence Course takes you through each principle in depth and contains every tool, technique and strategy I’ve used to help me go from being too afraid to leave the house to travelling the world solo, starting multiple businesses and throwing myself into the world of online dating after 4 years of being single.
Here’s an overview of each of the core principles of The 90/90 Mindset Concept:
1. We believe in becoming 90% confident, 90% of the time
The first principle of The 90/90 Mindset Concept challenges the common misconception that you need to be 100% confident all the time. Instead, focus on becoming 90% confident 90% of the time. Acknowledge that being human means you will not feel confident continuously. Embrace your moments of self-doubt as part of the journey as you work towards more confidence.
2. You only need 90 seconds of confidence
On a first date, waiting for your potential partner to arrive can be anxiety-inducing. Rather than worrying about maintaining confidence throughout the entire date, understand that you only need 90 seconds of confidence to make a decision or take action an action that has the potential to change your life. In this instance, the action being making it to the first date. From there, think of the date as if it’s been broken into manageable 90-second increments so you can stay present and confident in the moment.
3. There are 3 layers of confidence you need to work on
To be confident in any situation, including a first date, it's essential to work on these three layers of confidence:
Think Confident: What you think, you believe and what you believe becomes your reality. Transform your inner narrative by challenging and changing any limiting beliefs so that self belief becomes your default.
Act Confident: Practical actions play a significant role in appearing and feeling confident. Step out of your comfort zone, take action, and engage in new experiences to boost your confidence.
Feel Confident: Confidence extends beyond your thoughts and actions; it's also about your energy and how you feel in your body. Work on feeling confident and comfortable within yourself.
This blog post is focusing on the Think Confident layer. For tips on how to act and feel confident before a first date, go here.
Shifting Your Mindset
Before going on a first date, it's crucial to prepare mentally. Your mindset significantly influences your confidence and how you present yourself. Consider these strategies to shift your mindset positively:
1. Replace Negative "What Ifs" with Positive Ones: Instead of dwelling on negative "what ifs" like, "What if they don't find me attractive?" switch to positive alternatives such as, "What if this date turns out to be amazing?"
2. Embrace an Open Mind: Avoid setting unrealistic expectations for your first date. Rather than pinning all your hopes on finding "The One," approach it as an opportunity to meet someone new and enjoy a fun experience.
3. Positive Affirmations: Repeating positive affirmations can significantly boost your confidence. Phrases like, "I'm an amazing person," or "I'm going to have so much fun tonight," can help you feel more confident and uplifted.
4. Engage in a Mindset Monologue: Use a Mindset Monologue to steer your thoughts in a positive direction. Instead of spiralling into negative thinking, spiral upwards by focusing on the positive outcomes of the date.
These are just some of the mindset tools I teach in depth inside The Confidence Course.
Ditching Unrealistic Expectations
Many people fall into the trap of building up unrealistic expectations for their first dates. This can lead to unnecessary pressure and disappointment. Here's why it's essential to manage your expectations:
1. Avoid the Fairytale Trap: Don't expect your first date to be a fairytale romance. Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment, especially if you're envisioning an instant, deep connection.
2. No Pressure to Settle Down: Understand that there's no predetermined timeline for settling down. Don't let societal pressures dictate your choices. Focus on enjoying the journey and meeting new people without rushing into commitments.
Fun and Unique Date Ideas
Choosing a fun and unique date idea can set a positive tone for your first date and can take the pressure off of you both. Consider activities that allow you both to engage and connect more naturally:
1. Joint Experiences: Opt for activities that provide built-in conversation starters, such as visiting a themed museum or engaging in interactive exhibits. Shared experiences can help break the ice.
2. Avoid Standard Dates: While traditional dinner or coffee dates are common, consider more creative options that can make your date memorable. Think about mini-golf, visiting an art gallery, or attending a live performance. You’ll instantly have things to talk about so won’t need to worry about having to force a conversation.
Handling First Date Jitters
Even with the best preparations, you may still experience nervousness before a first date. Inside The Confidence Kit, you’ll find 9 x 90 second confidence boosting exercises that you can quickly and easily implement to help you handle any first date jitters.
Embrace Uncertainty and Stay True to Yourself
Ultimately, the key to a successful first date is embracing uncertainty and staying true to yourself. Confidence is about being authentic and comfortable in your own skin. When you genuinely like and accept yourself, you'll naturally exude confidence and connect more deeply with potential partners.
Preparing to go on a first date can be a mix of excitement and anxiety. However, with the right mindset and techniques, you can boost your confidence and set a positive tone for the experience. Remember The 90/90 Mindset Concept, replace negative thoughts with positive ones, and manage your expectations. Choose fun and unique date ideas, handle date jitters with confidence-boosting tools, and, most importantly, stay true to yourself. By following these guidelines, you'll approach first dates with newfound confidence, making them more enjoyable and successful. Dating should be a fun opportunity to connect with someone new, so go out there with an open mind and let the magic unfold.
