6 Signs Your Ex Wasn't the Love of Your Life
Forget the daydreaming. Forget the romanticising through rose tinted glasses. Forget feeling like they were your one chance at love.
It’s time for you to move into a more empowered state where you can shift into acceptance of the situation. To help you do that, I’m sharing 6 Signs Your Ex Wasn’t the Love of Your Life.
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6 Signs Your Ex Wasn’t the Love of Your Life
1. The effort was all one-sided
If you felt like you were the one putting in all the effort - for example: arranging date nights, doing the shopping, scheduling time to see each other - then they were not the one. You deserve someone who is equally as invested in the relationship and in the life you want to create together.
You deserve to feel special, to have someone who wants to take you out and who puts in as much effort into the relationship as you do.
2. The trust wasn’t there
Whether you didn’t trust them or they didn’t trust you, or a combination of both, if your relationship lacked a foundation of trust, it wasn’t the right relationship. This is something we talk about in episode 1 of The Date with Confidence Podcast - How to Know if You're in the Wrong Relationship. When you’re spending your days or nights worrying about what your partner is getting up to behind your back, it’s not healthy.
You deserve to be with someone who you trust unconditionally and who has that same level of trust for you.
3. There was a lack of communication
Communication is arguably the most important part of a relationship. If you couldn’t communicate your needs without being fearful of the response, you weren’t in a safe, healthy relationship. And this is something that I had to learn from one of my best friends because I had always been in relationships where I couldn’t openly share my feelings without it being turned back on me or without being made to feel ashamed, or guilty, or wrong for being honest. And I just assumed that was normal. But it’s not.
And it’s not just the big things that you should be able to communicate. Open, honest and regular communication is what’ll bring you closer to your partner so if they’re not responding to you or disappearing for days or not even making the effort to sit and have a conversation with you at the end of the day, for example, they are not the one.
You deserve to be in a relationship where communication is healthy, open and honest.
4. They disrespected you
Your ex wasn’t the one if they regularly disrespected you. Now, everyone makes mistakes, everyone messes up at times, but if disrespecting you became a regular occurrence, they were not the one. Some examples of disrespecting you could be messaging other people in a flirty way, ignoring you when you’ve explained that something they do is hurtful, staying out all night without letting you know in advance or letting you know where they are and even more subtle things like the way they talk about you or to you in public.
You deserve to be respected.
5. You were always the one compromising
Compromise is a natural part of a relationship. There’ll always be moments where you might have different viewpoints, different ideas or different ways of how you want to handle things or what you want to do next. And it’s fine to compromise your plans or needs temporarily but if you find that you were always the one making the compromise, that wasn’t your forever relationship.
You deserve to be with someone who will happily compromise equally as often as you do.
6. They didn’t support your passions and dreams
When you talked about what you wanted from the future, was your partner encouraging? Supportive? Eager to listen and plan with you?
Or did they tell you what you wanted wasn’t possible? Did they laugh at your plans? Did their eyes glaze over with disinterest?
Your partner doesn’t have to understand your vision. They don’t have to be excited about what you want to achieve. But they should support you. They should get excited at your excitement. They should be willing to listen to your ideas and ask how they can best support you in achieving them.
And if they didn’t, they weren’t for you.
You deserve someone who supports you unconditionally and who gets excited about your excitement for the future.
I hope this has made you feel lighter and brought that fighter, strong, empowered energy back to you so you can focus on the amazing future you’re going to have instead of reminiscing about the past through rose tinted glasses.
